So its weird to think that in three weeks time I’ll be sat next to my best friend, backpack at the ready, flying to the other side of the earth.
Weird I think is the right word though. It’s an exciting, scary, challenging, sad and strange thought, so weird pretty much covers them all.
It still hasn’t sunk in that I’ll be leaving all I know behind – friends, family, job, degree, my home. I’m ninety-eight per cent sure I will love my time out there, I’ll probably get out there and never want to grow old – I’ll be the real life Tinker Bell, just minus the wings. Well a girl can dream anyway. But it is a scary thought that I have no idea what is waiting for me over there, what I will have to face, overcome and experience but I think I’m ready for it.
When I decided to go to university the thought of leaving home terrified me. I wanted to be near my family, near my best friend Tristan, I didn’t want to move out, I instantly knew I wanted to stay at home but a week in, I realised that it was just the thought of moving away that was scary rather than the process itself. Once I was there, once I had met all the wonderful people I went on to call my friends over the three years, I knew I was ready to move out.
Ok, it wasn’t the easiest experience but I did love it. Frist year was incredible and in terms of building relationships it just got better from there. What it did teach me is that although goodbyes are hard, they are never forever. There are people you meet in life that may only be around for a couple of months before they head onto a new path, some maybe longer, but their presence in your life is far greater than anything else and is enough to make that goodbye worthwhile.
I didn’t think I was ready to move out at the time, but a week in I knew. This time, it hasn’t even sunk in that I’m leaving but what I do know is that once I’m settled out there, whether it takes a day, two, a week or a month, I will love my time out there. Yes there will be hard times, days when I miss home and those comforts but there will also be highs like I’ve never experienced before. It’s the unknown that I’m scared of, but I guess that’s also what I’m excited for.
As I said to a friend the other day who’s travelling, once you’re out there you don’t need to be worried about time or others, you can take each day as it comes. It’s really helped talking to him since he left, while he doesn’t know it, he’s the one that has given me such excitement for what can happen while I’m gone, the possibilities that can come my way and the places I will get to visit. There will be days that are hard, but they will just be over seen by the days that are unlike any other. Since talking to him he has reassured me that the only scary part is leaving, once you’re in the air anything is possible. I guess it will be like Peter Pan – for the time that I’m out there it will feel like I’m not growing older, but I think that is what I need, or at least want. I want to make the most of the time out there, do anything and everything, experience all that this planet has to offer because if not now, then when?
It’s a long way to go, it’s not a simple train journey home, but I will always have a home here no matter where I go in life. I will never be alone and I will always have people there to support me. Who knows how long I will be gone for, what will happen while I’m gone, where my path will take me and what I will be doing in a years time but I guess that’s what I need to be excited about. This time next year I could be anywhere and anybody I want to be, so here’s to being Tinker Bell!