Humans are fragile creatures made up of broken hearts and broken promises.
The past year may have been hard, but it has put everything into perspective. Emotionally, I’m weaker than ever but in spirit, I’m stronger than ever.
At school, you always had those friends that were there for you and listened to your problems, but would walk away once you had confided in them. The ones that would go on to tell another person, who would tell another, and soon, everyone knows that part of your life. That part of your life that you chose to keep private. You opened up to that person through trust, in hope they would help, offer support or guidance, but in turn, it made the situation worse and everyone then assumed they knew you. But they didn’t, they only knew of you. They knew a story they had been told, one that is flawed, with key details missing. People choose what they want to hear, and pass on what they choose to say, often leaving out the key details that define who you are or what you have gone through. Leaving everyone assuming they know your story, when in fact, they only know part of a story. A story that is hundreds of pages long. A they only know one paragraph. Well, unfortunately, those people don’t only exist at school.
Some people are there for you through anything and everything. No matter how big or small, they will fight with you, others are happy to leave you when they have what they want to hear. When they’ve got enough information to spread to other people, boost their ego, and in turn, damage yours. Those people, are the people you don’t want in your life.
Yes, as humans we are nosey creatures, but that doesn’t make it right. I told only four friends my story, and even then, I only told them a section. There is only one person that knows everything, because I know now, not to trust in others. People create this idea based on who they think you are, based on what they have been told by other people, but unless you’ve spoken to that person directly, heard every piece of information, you do not know that person at all, let alone their story.
When you talk to a friend in confidence, they make a promise not to tell anyone else, but frankly, that promise has never existed and never will. And the hard part is that, although people say it’s good to talk about your feelings, it isn’t because it just ends up getting twisted and stereotypes are made. But the one thing I have gained from all of this, is that I now know who my true friends are. The ones that will stick by me no matter what. No matter what my story, what they have heard through rumours, or what others say, those that have had the heart to ask me themselves and support me. And to those people, I will forever do the same, and forever be grateful for the support, love, and strength they give me each and every day. Without those people, there would be no purpose in relationships, friendships and family.
Some may think it is ironic, saying I don’t want people to know my story when I blog about it, but the truth is, I never blogged about it until everyone already knew about it – and that was not out of choice. People have chosen to believe what they hear from other people, some, will read my blog in hope of finding out more information to talk about, others will read it to hear my side of things, and a minority will read it to understand what I am going through and offer support. I have written of my experiences because it has helped others deal with theirs. While I am still learning from my own, still struggling everyday, speaking to and helping others in similar situations makes it all that little bit worthwhile. Even out of the worst experiences, somewhere, there is something good. And while love and promises do not exist in this life, our spirits and minds do, we just have to learn to listen to them.