Past conversations

I opened up iMessage on my mac today, it’s always weird to see past conversations and people who were in your life. It can be weird to think how far you’ve come since, or to think where they’re now at, but the power of it, is that it can take you straight back to that point in time.

Days go by when you don’t think of people, but then there are some people that you think of everyday. I don’t do goodbyes. It’ll either sound silly or normal to you, but I don’t like the thought of losing someone from my life forever, I like to leave the opportunities open just in case they ever need my help.

I stopped myself reading some messages as I knew it would just bring up emotions long buried that I don’t want to go through anymore, but one thing I did find between a conversation, is this link.

I’ve heard the song a million times, but it was on September 22nd, 2013 thatย I really listened to the lyrics. It’s one of those songs that,ย at the time made me feel such pain in saying goodbye. It was too relatable, but I couldn’t help but listen to it.

I listened to it today. I feel terrible for saying this, but I forgot all about it until I read the messages. When I first started listening to it, it reminded me of how I felt before and the pain I was going through. But towards the end it made me realise just how far I’ve come. That month was hard for me, and I never thought I could move on, but I’ve done so much in my life since, all by myself.

It reminded me that no matter how you’re feeling, what you’re going through, or what life throws at you, you may feel alone at times but you never are. Thousands, if not millions of people have felt the same way, and it’s just a trick of life to show you that you are still alive inside.

Things may seem hard at the time, you may feel like you cannot move on, or that without that person you will never be the same again, but you will be, and you’ll come out a changed, but stronger person.

It’s hard to get your head around change, no one likes it, no one wants it to happen but it’s inevitable. It shows us what we like and don’t like, what we want and need, what’s worth fighting for or to leave behind.

I’ve learnt a lot from this, looking back at the conversation. People change, people move on, it’s nice to think that the same person is still there, but life happens and we all follow our own paths. You can’t blame others for the way you think or feel, it’s all under your control, and it’s all down to the life you’ve lived.

If you don’t get along with someone, its unhealthy to act otherwise. If you want to keep someone in your life, tell them so, or you may regret it later on. If you want to do something, do it. What ever is at the forefront of your mind, act upon it otherwise it will drive you away from what you truly want and need from life.

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