Nice vs Honesty

This is a question I was asked in a lecture earlier this week: Am I nice, or am I honest?

My instant reaction was that I’m always honest but after thinking, I realised a lot of the time I’m nice over being honest. I re-word what I say and what I mean to make people happy. This sounds terrible I know, and I feel like a horrible person for doing this but I have good intentions. Right?

Well, I know I can’t talk after admitting what I just did, but there are some instances when you know not to be anything but honest.

Actually, scrap that. I wrote this blog post to talk about honesty vs being nice, when actually it’s not what I want to say. But at the same time, kind of is.

What I don’t understand is how someone can go from being so close with you, to not wanting anything at all? I recently tried to mend things with a friend after making a mess of it all. We become friends again, but things got carried away and I thought that for my own sake, and theirs, things would be better if we forgot everything. So I guess this does link in with the title? I was trying to be honest over nice, but yet again, it didn’t work.

See, I never expected a reply, but I didn’t expect the reply I received either.

Basically, where I’m going with this is. People are not what you expect them to be. Things don’t always work out the way you want them to. But at the end of the day, we win some and we lose some. And on the bright side I guess I will learn from this and learn to pick my friends better next time!

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One Comment Add yours

  1. aaa says:

    I asked myself the same question when (sorry for putting it so crudely) “s**t hit the fan”. Turned out that when I actually turned to people for help when I really needed it, they just stopped speaking to me altogether – these were people I saw/talked to every day, when i wanted an honest anwer I couldn’t get it. To this I wonder what would happen if I kept quiet or was just “nice” all the time.

    Still upsets me a little, and I still miss all those people and the good times shared but there’s nothing I could do. I’ve always been brutally honest, may not be good for things liek your love life in the short term, but in the long term the ones who stay and you can be brutally honest with are the ones you want really, because when stuff does go wrong they won’t run.

    So I wouldn’t get to upset over it too much, tons of great people out there and I learned the hard way, but in the end it was probably inevitable.

    I have no hestation calling someone the c-word to someone’s face if need be to this day, despite all that happened (thankfully i’m a pacifist so this doesn’t happen very often haha). Guess people come and people go and I find it as illogical as you do, but thankfully there’s always tons of new people you can make new friends with πŸ™‚

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