I’m not one for cliché sayings, but it just hit me just how true this saying is right now;
“You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone”
Not a day goes by when I don’t miss Tristan, but today of all days, I’ve missed him even more.
I’ve been feeling ill for a couple of weeks now but today it got worse and the only person I wanted to talk to it about was Tristan. The only person I wanted to be with was him.
Today also made me realise how easily fooled I am. I easily believe that people care about me but are then shortly led to see that in a sense, they are using me. I don’t open up with people easily. I’d happy help them with their worries, but I’m not one to verbally speak about mine.
I know I’m going to sound selfish now, but I really thought that things were different this time, that maybe this person cared, but when the time comes to it, they don’t. In a way I’m glad I realised it this way, realised so early on, but at the same time, it was only recently that I felt like I was comfortable with them, thought maybe I could open up. How easily led I am.
So today, not only did I miss Tristan, I also realised that I really won’t meet anyone like him no matter how hard I try.
My iTunes was just on shuffle, and two songs came on. To everyone else they will seem like nothing, but to me, they really mean the world .
The first was Lucky by Jason Mraz. This sums up my relationship with Tristan to the maximum. We’ve always said it does, but even more so now that he is on the other side of the world. No matter where he is, he will always mean the world to me.
The other, just the lyrics enough sum up how I feel right now:
“I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up”
What brought this on, as even I know this is a really random post, is the actions of others, and the sudden realisation, that I really have lost more than I thought I ever would.
It really is true;
You don’t know what you’ve got until its gone
Cherish those that mean the world to you. Spend as much time with the people who make you happy. Do what you want to do, but do it with the people you love.