Misogyny or just banter?

After a terrible night out at Purple Wednesday and reading ‘Music, misogyny and the student club night that trades in violating women’ I came to the decision that the article is right. I know having this opinion is going to raise a lot of debate, any opinion over the matter of sexism does. I’m not saying this applies to all males, but I can speak from experience when I say it is true, it does happen, and it isn’t right.

Promoters, Tequila UK have recently asked men who attended Leeds student night “Freshers Violation” how they were going to “violate a fresher tonight?” The responses were both shocking, and quite frankly, disgusting. Admittedly, they were most probably drunk when they asked the question, but that doesn’t mean that men don’t carry out the said actions.

The video was later removed, edited, and removed once again.

Their promotion campaign focuses on using women to get men into their clubs, essentially using them as ‘bait’. On their nights out, female students are encouraged to undress and have men take body shots off them. It is not accepted for men to do it. They also show porn on the screens in their clubs and encourage women to give lap dances on beds that they provide.

All these things are expected of female students. Girls, on average, aged 18-21.

I admit, this is the extreme, not all clubs go to these extents to get students to attend their nights. But, there are similar practices in a lot of other student nights.

The worst in Portsmouth, I would say, is the “Dirty Disco” with its slogan being, “Don’t tell daddy”. The promoting company for the event, and other nights, employees Eskimo girls and guys. First of all, they base this on looks – again using them as ‘bait’ to lure students in. While this is normal, they need promoters to encourage people to attend the event, what I don’t understand is why they need to be in minimal clothing.

The Eskimo girls are expected to wear, what essential covers less than a swimming costume. They stand on the balconies seductively dancing with one another, and walk around the club having photographs taken with students that have attended the event.

Surely this would just encourage men to take advantage when drunk? Essentially, they are on show?

After last night, I realised that when on a night out and drunk, a lot of male students only really want one thing. Sex. While there are probably plenty of girls who are just after sex as well, men have a more demanding way of trying to secure it.

Before I even left for the club they were talking about their accomplishments with women in clubs. What they’ve done with girls on the dance floor, balconies, toilets etc. Once in the club this just got worse.

Nearly every male I spoke to last night groped me in one way or another. None of them held back at trying to kiss me, or drag me away from my friends where I felt safe. What I also realised was, if you say no, it’s as if you are in the wrong. Once you said no, that was it, none of them stuck around for conversation.

Again, I understand they’re young, free and wanting sex, but there are other ways to go about it.

Last night was the first time I felt repulsed to be surrounded by men. It was the first time I physically flinched when they came near me. I could tell what they wanted, and when I didn’t give it to them, they made me feel bad. When I was the one in the right.

Like I said at the beginning, I know not all men are like this, just the select few.

When I started uni, I thought student nights were a way of meeting new people, making new friends, not religiously having one night stands and never seeing them again.

As I previously said, I don’t think the way student nights are promoted help. Take Carnage for example. It’s sponsored by Loaded, Nuts and Zoo, and to top it off, each event encourages ‘sexual activities’ with the tick list on the back of the T-shirt, as well as minimal clothing.

Some clubs really do go too far. It was found there was a venue in Glasgow which had a two-way mirror in the women’s toilets – surely this alone is a form of sexual harassment?

A survey carried out by the NUS found that 68% of students had reported being sexually harassed in or around their university. 68%!?

I’m not saying everyone is like this. I’m not saying that this is all due to the actions of men, because it isn’t. Women have an impact on this too. They choose to dress the way they do, they choose to do the things they do. But this doesn’t mean it should be accepted by everyone as the ‘norm’.

Club nights use women as a marketing tool rather than protect them. It’s just realising that this isn’t right, and shouldn’t be accepted.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Don’t think I could agree with you any more. I feel like I’m being shown daily the growing misogyny in so called ‘lad’ culture. And the more I read about it the more I’m infuriated that anyone would think that this sort of behaviour is appopriate or acceptable. men may call it ‘banter’ but it doesn’t excuse sexual harrassment or public humiliation!
    There’s another article I read called something like ‘Can you tell the difference between a rapist and a lad’s mag?’, it’s disgusting, you should look it up!
    I don’t think you should have to justify what you’re saying though, it is disgusting, end of story. I don’t care if men are out to have sex on a night out, this doesn’t give them the right to disrespect or harass women in such a way.
    I think that if a woman is interested in becoming involved with a guy in a club, then that is their decision, their lifestyle and I have no issues with that. But the assumption that men feel they can go into a club and touch whatever they feel like and then place the blame on women, as if we’re in the wrong for not wanting to be harassed is horrendous. I think it is very rare that this sort of act is in reverse, that women are groping men against their will.
    ‘Lad culture’ is becoming increasingly misogynistic and it’s disgusting. I feel like society is moving in reverse to be honest and it’s eally upsetting, it really is! I feel your frustration.

    Great article Lauren πŸ™‚

    1. Well said Sarah! I totally get what you mean about it rarely being in reverse! Just read the article, it’s honestly shocking how they think its acceptable to say things like that! Also, how they think on the same wave length as those who are convicted!? The more I read into it, the more repulsed I become!

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