- I don’t like goodbyes. Although it may sound silly, I mean, who does like goodbyes? But when I say I don’t like them, I mean in any form. This is one of the things I keep most to myself. Ever since I can remember I have never been able to say goodbye to anyone. It doesn’t matter if I’ll see them in a few hours, days, months, or even years, I hate saying goodbye. It’s mostly due to the thought of it being final. A goodbye is like the final words of a film, ‘the end’. That’s it. It’s over. The issue is, although you may know you’re going to see that person soon, it’s not definite. The hardest thing is when I know I wont see them for a while. For those that are close to me, or those that have moved on in their lives, they will most probably know that I can’t and probably never will be able to say goodbye. It might sound harsh, but I’d much rather move on then do the final goodbye. So yeah, that’s one of the main things that most people don’t know about me.
- I like people to easily. By this I mean just generally befriend people way to easily, making my first fact (not being able to say goodbye) very hard for me. I’m the type of person who will talk to anyone, at any given time about almost anything. I ignore what others say about people and make my own judgements on the way. I’m not one to stereotype or single out. My flaw: I see people as my friends way to quickly. This again might sound weird, but it results in me missing people when I hardly know them. As soon as a conversation starts with someone I see them as a friend, as soon as it ends, I wonder what I’ve done wrong. If I could, and if others would let me, I’d keep in contact with everyone I’ve ever met because I hate it when a person I’ve poured my life at, or who has been part of my life just disappears. I’d love to be friends with everyone. And the old saying that ex’s can’t be friends? I’m totally against this. You can be friends with who you want as long as you both put the effort in.
- I’m very unselfish. I don’t want to sound bigheaded (although I know it does sound it) but I really don’t like saying no to people. No matter what the question, person, favour, I physically hate saying no to people. I like to put others before myself; something I’ve been taught by my family. If the decision was between pleasing me or the other person; I’d choose the other person. While this does sound kind and heartfelt, it also results in me being a slight pushover… I’ve not realised this until I came to university where people have made me realise just how much I give in to what people say. I need to learn to grow and stand on my own. But until this point, I know I will continue to say yes to almost anything and everything people ask me; it’s just who I am now.
- My head hurts. Now this one is going to sound random, so I apologise for it, but feel I should say it whilst I’m letting out all my feelings and thoughts right now. Very few people know this, so it’s going to be hard to write and share but here goes. Since I was little (year 4 to be precise) I’ve had something wrong with my head. Although there hasn’t yet been a ‘diagnostic’ it’s definitely not right. It never bothered me too much at school, but then again I wasn’t really all that stressed! But whilst at college and now university it’s got worse. It’s nothing drastic (or at least I don’t think it is?) but it just affects the way my mind works. For those of you that have been lucky enough to have been in a class with me you may have noticed it, but when concentrating or feeling stressed, my mind kind of collapses on me. By this I mean I feel I can physically do nothing. I struggle to write, speak, or process thoughts. Although it doesn’t last long, it’s a weird feeling to experience every day, especially during exams! It also affects my sight and hearing at times, so I apologise now if I ask you to repeat yourself! But as I said, at the moment this isn’t serious, but then we don’t know what it is yet. But as a heads up, if I look like I’m struggling to talk, read, and focus; this is the reason. Like I said; this probably seems random, but whilst talking about all my other ‘secrets’ I feel this is probably one of the better times to speak about it all.
- I’m too sensitive. This is definitely something that runs in the family, my sister is the same. I seem to cry/ want to cry about almost anything. While I am good in confrontation (I give as good as I get) afterwards, I fall apart. I’m the type of person that tries to hold everything in from the world, but then ends up letting it all out at once, and most commonly at the wrong time!
- I forgive people. Although most people do, I probably forgive others way too easily. As I said earlier, I feel bad upsetting people. Therefore, as soon as someone apologises I accept. In my eyes, if they’ve had the courage to apologise, they’ve earned my friendship back. I’d also do anything for those that have hurt me, or I don’t like greatly. Again, I probably sound like a pushover, but I view it in the way that if I help them, someone, somewhere will help me if I ever need it. No matter how much someone has hurt me, I’d still stand up for them, and be for them if they needed that one person. Because at the end of the day, we all need someone to stand by us through anything and everything life throws at us.